Dear Jesus,
I figured if Santa gets tons of letters this time of year, You deserve one (at least!), too. Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I have a lot to say, "thank You" for, so I decided there is no time like the present. I know I don't display my gratitude nearly enough. I'm grateful that you see through this wicked heart to know that deep-down in there is an immense amount of thanksgiving for all You have done, and are doing.
First, thank You for this Season. I know that You weren't technically born on December 25, but I am glad that there is a time of year those who choose to acknowledge Your birth can. Thank You for choosing to be born. I cannot begin to understand the love You and Your Father (mine, too) have for humans, that He would sacrifice You to save me. It's incredible. I'm sorry for not making each day more like Christmas-both in my heart and in my home.
Thank You for the countless blessings You have bestowed on me, entirely unearned and undeserved, yet You have chosen to give them anyway. Thank You for leading me to a husband who loves me more than I ever hoped for, and literally sacrifices his wants, time, and desires to try to give us a healthy and stable home. Thank You for saving him, and for placing Your calling on his heart. We don't know how it will be fulfilled yet, but the knowledge that You have called him/us is a blessing we will forever be grateful for.
Thank You for NaomiRae, Timothy, and Titus-John. Children I always wanted, but feared I would never have. Thank You for their laughter, love, and crazy idiosyncrasies that daily teach me to trust You and run to You to be the mother I know You have called me to be. Thank You for the unique personalities, gifts, and talents You have given to each one, so that they can each serve You in some way in the future-for Your Kingdom.
Thank You for Baby T. Thank You for having timing for our family, which is much wiser than my own. Thank You for not thinking we're crazy for wanting another child, but for giving us the knowledge that parenthood is an abundant blessing You have bestowed on us-both now and for the rest of our lives. Thank You for saving this little One again. Thank You for allowing the fear I had to be unfounded, that I only had a minor issue that caused "fake" labor. Thank You that, as time passes, I will become more and more uncomfortable because my body is still "cooking" Baby T. You know that having three other children would never replace the growing love I have for this Baby, and the loss of him would have been devastating. My heart is full to overflowing with gratitude that You allowed me to keep this Baby, and that in just a few short months, it will be okay for him to be born, so our entire family can hold and cherish one more Baby.
Thank You for the Church, friends, and family that You have graced my life with. Thank You for using them to teach me how to better become the woman, wife, and mother You have called me to be. Thank You for having them teach me (whether said or modeled) how selfish I am, and how much growing I have to do. Thank You for a Godly Shepherd and Pastoral staff, who daily search Your Word to teach me Who You are, and how You have called me to live.
This letter can never be long enough to thank You for all You have done and continue to do. My words are futile to explain the depths of my love and gratitude for You. Please see past them, and read my heart. Thank You for knowing me better than I know myself, and for wanting me to be better, in every area of my life. Although it can be discouraging, thank You that I will never be "complete" until I walk into Your Presence.
I love You,
Tabitha
