I cannot even remember how many times I have tried to write this entry. It has been over 1,000 days in the making, over four years of prayers, frustrations, disappointments, confusion, and even anger.
In this entirely horrific economy, Richard was able to find a new job, in an entirely new career. He has sacrificed so much to be an amazing husband and father. He used to think that if he wasn't in management, he might not be "worth as much." It's amazing what four years of three-four hours a sleep a day will do to pride. God brought us both to a place where we didn't care what the job change was, as long as it was a change. Our family has suffered silently, because talking about our struggles usually came with the reaction that it "couldn't be that bad" or that we were complaining. When your best friend tells you he fell asleep on the drive to work and hit a construction barrel, yes, it's been that bad. When your best friend makes sure to get a life-insurance policy because he knows his body cannot take much more of the abuse, yes, it's been that bad. When your best friend finally gets home from work, and cannot wait to see his children, but falls asleep as soon as he puts his car into park, yes, it's been that bad. This list could go on and on.
And now the change. Let me tell you, though, before an actual job change, came a lot of heart change and perspective change. God had to get us both to the point of complete and total relying on Him. God had to give us opportunities to learn about His Grace, His Provision, and how trustworthy our God is. God has also given us a great deal of lessons in truly making a marriage work when you literally see each other an average of an hour/day. It has NOT been easy. It has taken more patience, love, dedication, and devotion than I ever thought possible to even have. It has also given submission an entirely new meaning for me. If he calls and says he has thirty minutes for a lunch, you pack up four kids, make him a sandwich, and load up the truck to get there. Why? Because your vows are a lot more than pretty language. And, with a divorce rate of over fifty percent, you do every single thing in your power to let him know you are THERE. I may have "won" his heart eight years ago, but you can be quite certain that there are plenty of other girls who are ready to woo him. Now, I think my husband is quite good-looking, but looks don't seem to matter to some girls. A guy makes them laugh, and that's good enough. Or a guy is considerate, and that usually does it. Well, my husband is both, (plus the good looks!), so you can be sure that I have seen more than one eye watching out for him to not be so happy with his wife. Through all of this, God has given me SUCH a passion to work with young wives. Yes, I know, I could technically still be labeled as a young(er) wife. We will only just be hitting our six year anniversary next month. But, I also know that God brought us to and through the last few years. I also am quite aware that the next year is going to take a lot of trust in God and in each other to get us through. I would hope that the experiences we've been though have been to ready us for the ministry God has for us.
As the title suggests, I was not at all going to be going into the topic of "marriage". But, it's a start for today.
