This is actually not a post about autism...although because autism is in our house, there may be a mention or two...
So, since autism awareness is a daily thing in our lives, along with ABA therapists, as I have written about, I am fairly stuck at home. In a day and age where the book, "Radical" and others on that topic are pervasive, I have to fight the temptation to be frustrated or feel guilt for not physically, "going out and doing some BIG things for God." The Lord has made it abundantly clear to me that He has planted me where I am, and visions of "Christian Grandeur" need to be set aside on pride's altar. That being said, my heart's desire is still to serve the Lord in whatever capacity He chooses. So, I prayed. And, I've continued to pray, more specifically in this season of being "home bound" for opportunities for ministry. Nine months in, and the majority of the ministry had been on my heart-the Lord revealing some parental ugliness that needed to be repented of and fixed. Although I kept praying for opportunities, I honestly thought that perhaps my season was one of quiet ministry to our family, and I was finally okay with that.
If you've walked through seasons of learning, you know what's coming next. God determined I had at least passed the current quiz, so it was time for some "new material." (Sorry, I'm in the back-to-school mode!) Facebook has plenty of negative issues, but one positive is that it can and does connect people to others with a need. Long story short-a request for a babysitter turned into two little girls a few days later entering our home to sleepover so their mom could work. What began on a trial basis quickly turned into a solid commitment from Richard and I, and a blossoming area for service we did not expect. I was quite careful to guard my heart. I did not want to get hurt when the girls were pulled away from our family. I knew their mom was throwing around the idea of adoption, and with five of our own-two in the midst of therapy-we knew there were plenty of other couples who would be so much better suited to love and care for the girls.
Almost four months into our babysitting agreement, I knew where I stood. I loved the girls, and would happily take them each night their mom worked. I was quietly confident the Lord had worked in my heart to be grateful for this small area of service. Growing up, I was very blessed to have an incredibly stable home. But, my mom did not have that same luxury. The story of her youth is so horrible, if you heard it, you would think she made it up. One of the things I remember most of her story was feeling like a pawn, the constant moving from one parent to another, and the fear of being split up from her two brothers. Because of my mom's insanely difficult background, she's never been one to display a lot of emotion. When she described the fear of losing her brothers, though, I saw in her eyes a reflection of deep pain that cut me to the core. (Back to the present...) I received a text from the girls' mom that her living situation was unexpectedly changing, and she might have to split up the two girls.
As the situation began to appear more and more dire, Richard's and my heart were united in a common purpose. Within the period of a few weeks, the decision for us to be "Trucks plus One" was made. The older little girl would move in with us, and (by God's awesome work!) would attend school with all of our kiddos. Richard and I have felt deep conviction that we would not ask for any type of "legal" agreement (we are not legal guardians or foster parents). Just this week, she moved in. We are very much in a transitional stage right now. This is so very far outside of my comfort zone, but I'm so very grateful. I'm watching the Lord grow our marriage, unite our family, and see Him provide grace sufficient for the day. As a confessed "Type A Planner", once again, He's reminding me I cannot worry about tomorrow, but need to trust for today. I'm (working on) finding freedom in His sovereignty and His grace. And, I'm watching Him allow a full circle take place. For today, the girls will not be split up. There is no such thing as "coincidences." Our situation today has been divinely orchestrated...beginning over a half-century ago! As my husband said, Ephesians 2:10 applies just as much today as it did when it was written, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
