Enter some more of my embarrassing life story. As I believe I have already mentioned, after becoming a diabetic, my body changed a great deal in just a few months. (Going from near-death to healthy will do that to a young girl...) From that tender age of 13, I began to loathe my body. Enter high school, and I was so busy in sports, I didn't have time to get into trouble. I lived for the competition and loved it, but still was quite unhappy with the way I looked. Now, one thing about being extraordinarily competitive, is you tend to alienate people. So, as I entered college, I wanted a clean start and did not join the sports I could have. (I was recruited to play soccer and volleyball.) I didn't want people to hate me because I was so tough on the field/courts. Well, needless to say, going from hours of exercise a day to none, I blew the "Freshman 15" out of the water. I gained so much weight, I made the normal fifteen pounds freshman gain look like child's play. Yeah, not great for the whole "bad body image" deal I already had. As I left college, I was sick and tired of hating myself and the way I looked. So, within a summer, I got so disciplined, I never even looked at candy, let alone anything that could sway me to go back to the awful way I had just felt. Focus, focus, focus.
1 Timothy 4:7-8=7 But reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness. 8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.
Isaiah 44:9a=Those who make an image, all of them are useless, And their precious things shall not profit;
For the last few years, I have been driving my husband crazy whenever I would say anything about my appearance. He is almost never cross with me, except when I would say something negative about myself. This past December, something he said finally hit a cord with me. I don't honestly remember what he said, but I do remember as I was trying to decide on what would be my "Focus Area's" for 2012, I distinctly felt the Lord placing Idolatry on my heart. It was one of those light bulb, DUH moments. I was so focused on how I looked, and how I felt I needed to look, I had made my unwise self my own idol...for years. Talk about feeling pretty foolish! How could I become a wife and mother after God's own heart, when I was constantly and consistently focusing on me?
So, for the past few months, I have been "de-programming" myself. It has taken more self-discipline than when I was at the gym a few hours/day. As with any sin issue, I still have quite a long way to go, but I am finally dealing with it. This is not to say I have given up on exercise. I still drag myself onto our spin bike for a good amount of time, several days a week. It is not to say one should throw their health to the birds, either. But, the focus needs to be up, not in.
...and remember, God NEVER lies:
Psalm 139:13-14=For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
