"Bitter Bean"

What does THAT mean?  "Bitter bean" has actually become a term in our house, to refer to a bitter person.  It's origination has roots (shockingly!) in Starbucks vernacular.  Coffee beans are actually found in a berry, that when dried, cleaned, and processed, produces the yummy bean we use as our caffeine fix (aka coffee!).  But, sometimes, a berry will be bad, and the bean will become bitter, producing a not-so-great tasting coffee bean, yielding a bad (bitter) cup of coffee.  You know what is "funny" about that?  It does not take a lot of "bitter beans" to make a very good cup of coffee taste terrible. 

I think God really knew about this phenomenon.  "A little leaven leavens the whole lump..."  (I Corinthians 5:6; Galatians 5:9).  Have you ever been around a group of people, and there is a "Grumpy" in the crowd?  It doesn't take much "grump" to make the whole group go from laughing and having a great time, to well, crabbiness.  OR, (and probably more often so, unfortunately), you don't have a problem with something/someone, but the person you are talking to DOES.  In just a few minutes, you go from not caring in the least, to being ready to storm down the walls of whatever you are now ready to blast!  Why?  How come we let the bitter beans win?  I guess God also knew about this problem when He told us in Proverbs (more than once!) that bad company corrupts good character. 

My Pastor even preached about this this past Sunday.  When we are running our Christian race-the marathon that doesn't end until our last day on earth, there were three persons to be wary of-only THREE.  And you know what one of them was?!?  Yep.  BITTER people.  I probably cannot count on one hand the amount of times in just the past few months that I have heard sermons or random comments on the absolute catastrophic effects of bitterness.  You know what a bitter bean looks like?  U-G-L-Y.  You know what a bitter person looks like?  I'm sorry to sound rude, but it is the same exact word.  Just like a happy person, bitterness swallows beauty whole, and leaves a wrinkled, sour, unhappy bean in it's wake.  Bitter beans do not care how many cups of coffee they infect.  Their job is to be bitter, and THAT is exactly what they will do. 

The next time you drink your cup of coffee, maybe you will have the after-effects of a bitter bean.  (Maybe the person who brewed it just brewed it wrong, too!)  Or, maybe you will have a sweet, aromatic cup that refreshes you, energizes you, and helps you face whatever is left of your day.  Make the choice to NOT be a bitter bean.  Their legacy is short-lived, their fame is not friendly, and they lack the beauty that is awaiting those who make the CHOICE to, "Let go and let God."  Do you have reasons to be bitter?  Sure!  I did, and it ate, and ate, and ate at me.  It was relentless.  And then, I decided to let it go.  I didn't want to-bitterness has a way of making you think you have to have it, that life won't be fair if you aren't holding on to it. 

Let me tell you, life on the other side tastes a whole lot sweeter. 

Recognition

"Congratulations, Tabitha! You did it!  You surmounted unbelievable odds!  You achieved the award you have been desiring for so long!..." Yeah.  If you are like me, this is NOT what you heard today.  Instead, my home was full of the sounds of whining, crying, fighting, and if you listened close enough, the occasional giggle-or even an "I love you." There was also the joy of multiple dirty diapers, one of which caused me to have to clean the carpet-the lovely effects of an antibiotic on a one-year-old's sensitive stomach. So, when I unexpectedly received my very first "Virtuous Woman" magazine from my beloved Thirty-One, and read all of the promotions and recognitions various women around the country received for excellent work, it got my mind to thinking... 

I would LOVE to be the "best" in my company, or in something, anything!  I would LOVE to have someone come up to me and say they hoped to achieve what I had achieved one day.  The glory and glamor of having MY name and picture in the magazine!!  Yes. For a few brief moments I thought of how wonderful that would be.  And then I realized where my magazine, as well as thousands of others would soon be-the trash.  The only people who would probably save them are those who were featured in it.  Is THAT what I truly desire for my life??  That's what my hopes and dreams are wrapped up in?  Actually, no.  Sure, it would be great to achieve some great things in my direct sales adventure, but WHY am I in sales in the first place?  It is NOT to be superior to all others-it is to be a true helpmeet to my dearest best friend, my husband.  Any commissions or monies I make are going to help pay off our student loan debt and move us closer to being in full-time Christian service.  And, as those who are in Christian service will tell you-it is FULL of glamor and glory, right??  As I write that, a giggle rises up in me.  No.  My glory will come when (in this lifetime), my blessed children rise up to serve their God and Father in whatever capacity the Lord has for them.  What an amazing blessing to watch one's children serve the Lord!!  My future, eternal glory will come when I finally meet my Savior face-to-face, and He welcomes me into eternity with Him.  If He tells me, "Well done," well, that would be glory beyond all measure, honestly! 

So, now that I have revealed the pride that loves to rise up in my heart, I will go back to the home that has toys and mess all over it.  While my children nap, I will quickly try to clean up, so that when they wake up, they can mess it up all over again.  I will not moan over the nausea that gets me all throughout the day, or the fatigue that encourages me to think maybe I should just put my head down on the computer desk.  I will thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me with three (and one more cooking!) wonderful children who I have the awesome privilege and responsibility to raise-and yes, clean up after.  And, in some small way, I will know that my Heavenly Father sees my little bits of faithfulness, and "recognizes" them.  Because, after all, when YOUR kids clean up and obey-you notice, right?

The Beginning

Well, I have finally entered into the "Blogger's world."  I am not so sure how this will go, or if anyone will even read what little things I have to write, but after months of thinking about starting, I started.  So much has been going on in my life recently, that this may be more therapeutic to me than anything.  On top of being a stay-at-home mom of three-, two-, and one-year-old's, I entered the world of Direct Sales late in June.  As if this isn't enough, on our anniversary, I/we learned that the Lord had surprised us with the news that we would add to our family by the end of March.  I thrive on change and a good challenge, but briefly wondered if maybe a little bit of calm might not be good.  Adjusting to life with three was extraordinarily difficult for me.  Sure, I looked calm on the outside, but at home, when I am just "me", "calm" was NOT what I looked like.  My dearest best friend and husband is home and awake for an average of an hour a day.  So, everything that happens in our home is done by me-not that I am complaining!  He works himself to a dangerous point of fatigue so that I can be home with the most precious gifts that the Lord could ever give anyone.  I LOVE being a mommy, but if you think it's easy-you don't have kids. 

Before I enter into the many, many Spiritual blessings, challenges, and tests I've been through in just a few short months, I will close for today with a simple and entirely profound love note from our Savior:

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

That verse may make more sense as I enter more in the future...  (yes, a little bait to keep reading!) ;)